RPG subreddit banned Uncle Bloody

For a while now, I've been posting silly things on RPG subreddit signing them "Uncle Bloody" - jokes that parodied, whatchacellem, "agony aunts'" columns, extremely bad advice for roleplayers and gamemasters and ridiculous reviews of game-related content. 

I wrote a mock review of a pirate-themed module based on one of my favourite novels by Ulrich Komm about 17th century Hamburg, war of Netherlands against Britain, and the life of famous pirate-hunter Admiral Berend Karpfanger. I think it was hilarious. 

The moderators, however, claimed that it was "not acting in good faith". 

Poor Uncle Bloody, he never knew any faith except for the good one. 

Anyways, here's the review. 

I especially love the DOOM joke.

 

Uncle Bloody reviews Sails And Boarding Hooks by Zachariah Spreckelsen

 

Hey there.

Quick update about Playing D&D In Ukraine team - we're still not playing, mostly because of work issues but also because of russian missile attacks that had intensified last weeks. If you have never seen a russian missile flying in the sky right over your head and wondered if it's going to hit close enough to kill you, then your life is awesome and you should treasure it.

Which gives me some time to spend with my poor demented Uncle Bloody, who may or may not be the evil alter ago which did all the bad things my parents disapproved when I was a kid.

I give you another one of Uncle Bloody's sad purposeless reviews - Sails and Boarding Hooks: An Ocean Adventure.

Greetings, true believers! Recently Uncle Bloody had received several letters complaining about roleplaying games, official modules, and life in general. This is my favourite:

"My party is at sea, and nothing interesting ever happens at sea - I had the players roll to resist sea sickness for two sessions now, and I think they're beginning to suspect something! Please help!"

Poor whipper-snapper, you made the mistake of moving the party away from the deep, dark, deadly dungeons where all the fun things happen. But you also made two good decisions - you used the tried and true "roll for sea sickness" distraction, and you asked your good old Uncle Bloody for help.

Rest assured, Uncle has the solution to your problem.

Sails and Boarding Hooks is an adventure written for Lamentations of the Flame Princess by my old friend Zachariah Spreckelsen, the guy who had played with me back when DND5E was only a DOOM cheat code, and "reddit" was only the sound that frogs make.

Ah, the good old days.

As it is typical for LotFP, Sails and Hooks takes place in a more or less historic Earth, the 17th century - the time where pirates prospered, sea merchant were afraid to leave the harbour unless they gathered a whole fleet, and the Netherlands battled against Britain, Spain, and anyone else they didn't very much like. Which is, frankly, just anyone else.

What does the adventure give you?

Treasure! A big beautiful treasure table for those strange things that you can find on a pirate's ship after you massacre the crew.

Mystery! The main task for your players is to find out the dark secret of Admiral Karpfanger, a very real historical pirate-hunter who's actually much more than history books dare tell.

Exotic drugs! The Hashishim are deadly enemies, but should you earn their trust, they might share their unique stock of mind-enhancing substances with you. Or you can just kill them and take all their possessions, this is, after all, table-top RPG.

Interesting stuff that happens at sea! Another beautiful table of accidents, incidents, and drunken students that your party can encounter in between those good old sea sickness rolls!

Naughty pictures! Pirate's life beautifully illustrated in gorgeous black and white!

NPCs! A dozen unusual characters with special skills, flaws, and dirty secrets to use for or against your party!

The only thing I believe is missing is magic. Apart from occasional magic item and a couple simple rituals the seamen use to try and improve the weather, Sails and Hooks seriously lacks the occult. Well, and of course there's the Curse, but hush! Uncle Bloody wouldn't want to spoil it for you!

To sum it up, Sails and Boarding Hooks are 14 pages of pure swashbuckling arr-robust fun.

Recommended by ye scurvy Uncle Bloody!